Back in North Carolina

We drove through the night (Thursday night). We got to Messiah College to drop Liz off, and we had traveled 10+ hours, normally a 7.5 hour drive, but we hit snow, lots of it from NY through just outside Harrisburg. We were beat, but Rachel drove then I did, and Lucie drove the last 3 hours and we got in around 4AM on Friday. I just wanted to not have to deal with traffic after all the snow and was afraid that the snow would delay us in the AM.

Here is the eulogy, at least in part, I really didn't read this word for word, there are parts I added / deleted, but you get a general idea. Thanks again for all your kind words and prayers. I felt surrounded by God's love the entire week.

---

Good morning. Welcome to a celebration of my mom’s life. Eulogies can be sad and emotional, I’m going to try to be respectful, but somehow if I say something stupid, I can imagine Mom saying “niaiseux!" or “Bonasse” or “pauvre imbecile". What is heaven like? It is written,”Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him." (1 Corinthians 2:9)

Revelation 21:4 (King James Version)
And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.

Revelations 21 which describes heaven? I picture her smiling and wide-eyed looking at the beauty of Heaven. Here's a portion of it:

12-14
The City shimmered like a precious gem, light-filled, pulsing light. ...
15-20
…The wall was jasper, the color of Glory, and the City was pure gold, translucent as glass. The foundations of the City walls were garnished with every precious gem imaginable: the first foundation jasper, the second sapphire, the third agate, the fourth emerald, the fifth onyx, the sixth carnelian, the seventh chrysolite, the eighth beryl, the ninth topaz, the tenth chrysoprase, the eleventh jacinth, the twelfth amethyst. The twelve gates were twelve pearls, each gate a single pearl.
21-27
The main street of the City was pure gold, translucent as glass. But there was no sign of a Temple, for the Lord God—the Sovereign-Strong—and the Lamb are the Temple. The City doesn't need sun or moon for light. God's Glory is its light, the Lamb its lamp! The nations will walk in its light and earth's kings bring in their splendor. Its gates will never be shut by day, and there won't be any night. They'll bring the glory and honor of the nations into the City. Nothing dirty or defiled will get into the City, and no one who defiles or deceives. Only those whose names are written in the Lamb's Book of Life will get in.

Mom loved to collect rocks, I can just see her tucking one of the stones away in a pocket!

I asked my siblings if they had thoughts to share about Mom. My sister Jeanne writes: “20 years ago Mom told me she’d never seen a baby born. She’d labored seven times and they “put me to sleep” for the actual birth. I asked her if she would be with me when Katelyn was born. She cried. She and Dad came home early from Florida to be here. I was scared but somehow it was better with Mom here … everything was always easier with her by my side.”

We are here to celebrate Mom’s new life; you know we’ve gotten such an outpouring of well wishes and sympathy for losing Mom. If we look at it selfishly, we weep, we mourn, we grieve, but when we think of what she endured these past months and how now she is at peace we MUST rejoice. We all have a birth date, and like the old saying about counting on death and taxes, we have a date where we check out. What's interesting about that is they usually separate the two with a "DASH" "-". That dash represents your life, and the dash is all that matters.

This past week, like last year, we’ve spent quality, laughter filled times. It may seem to an outsider a bit irreverent, but had Mom been there as the Mom we remember, she would have been belly-laughing with us. I was also told I couldn’t make fun of my family … there goes all my best material.

Mom loved LIFE. Life as I would describe it was not one lived alone; it was surrounded by family, extended family, church family and friends. Dad would bring home someone for supper, and nobody batted an eye. Mom took it in stride (at least in front of us, you’ll have to ask Dad if he ever got an ear full behind closed doors). People always felt welcome, because at our house they WERE welcomed.
One of Mom’s sayings was, “If you are allergic to dust, best you stay away, otherwise come on in …” Mom first and foremost was a servant … getting out her fancy dishes and putting snacks in them, making sure everyone had something to drink, and no meal was complete without some dessert.

Mom wasn’t perfect! Especially if you were NOT a morning person. It seems as we polled each other her songs changed over the years, but I remember the Debbie Reynolds ditty, “Good morning, good morning …” man, luckily for her I didn’t do much more than pull my sheets over my head.

The song and smile was often followed by “Did you offer your day to God today?” “Think of all those people who couldn’t get out of their beds today?” All I could think of was did she have to be so flippin’ chipper in the morning
Mom wore rose colored glasses … I don’t mean literally, but figuratively. She chose optimism over pessimism, these last few months, it was hard to see her struggle. I’m so relieved that now, I can imagine her pain free, clear minded, no more suffering and being in the presence of her Lord and King. Mom is happy. We should be happy. My sister Claire said it best when she said, “She’s Free at Last”.

We always want to do what’s right at these times, being respectful (for some of us it’s easier than others) (I’m trying real hard not to be a wise guy, but I don’t want to be so good, that Mom wouldn’t recognize me). I have known my Mom to lose it, I’m not talking about a fit of rage, I’m talking about a fit of laughter. Like the time in church where I tugged her sleeve and asked if the priest had been drinking … or like the time her 80 year old mother, Mémère Tremblay fell down the steps … I can still see my Mom not able to finish that story, ”le fou rire” would catch her and you couldn’t help but laugh along.

Mom was good, but it’s not her goodness that got her to heaven, it’s heaven that got her to goodness. She knew she needed Jesus. She understood that his stripes and shed blood paid the way for her. It’s not her suffering that got her into heaven. She knew that Jesus paid the price. She understood that He made the way. She is in His presence because she got it. She needed Jesus, and He took her just as she was! To please Him, to please God, she used her gifts to the best of her abilities. Yes Mom was good. Goodness isn’t what gets you to heaven. Jesus is what gets you to heaven. She said yes, I will serve You. You will be my Lord, my God. When you call someone Lord, He’s the boss. He’s the master. My Mom knew how to serve and she modeled her life on Jesus and his followers, the saints. She wasn’t perfect, only God is perfect, but she got it. She understood, it’s not about me, it’s about Jesus, and it’s about others.

Jesus is “the way the truth and the light”. If we took out the East Mason Street Bridge and had us all line up to jump across to the east side none of us could make it. However, the cross of Christ becomes our bridge. It is a straight and narrow way, and sometime we start to slip and He’s there to pull us back up. None of us could make it to the other side on our own power. We need a Savior. Mom did too, she asked Him in … and she made it to heaven by what He did, not what she did.
There is no reason anyone here cannot join Mom someday. There is NO EXCUSE. Do what she did, make Jesus Lord. You may never be able to be as good as Mom, and do all the things she did cheerfully, but that’s not what we have to do to get to heaven. It is a gift that no one can earn, and like any other gift you can’t walk away with it unless you reach out and accept it. Mom got it, she got that Jesus needed to be her Lord and Master. She served him the best way she knew how. We’re all different, don’t wait until you clean up your act, that’s an excuse and it won’t happen. Jesus takes you just as you are, warts and all.

I look forward to the day, I look forward to the moment, when like Mom, in a twinkling of an eye I will see Him face to face. There’s an old gospel hymn “Far side bank of Jordan”: that says

I believe my steps are growing wearier each day
Still I have a journey on my mind.
Hurts of this old world have ceased to make me want to stay
But my one regret is leaving you behind.

Now if it proves to be his will that I am first to go
Somehow I have a feeling it may be
When it comes your time to travel likewise don't you feel lost
For I will be the first one that you see.

(Chorus)
And I’ll be waiting on the far side bank of Jordan
I’ll be waiting drawing pictures in the sand
And when I see you coming I will rise up with a shout
And come running through the shallow waters reaching for your hand.

Now through this life we've labored hard to earn our meager share
It's brought us trembling hands and tear-dimmed eyes.
But I'll just wait here on the shore and turn my face away
Until you come and we'll see paradise

Let’s pray …

Wow, the snow is gently falling ...

I sit in my suit, have to be down the street in about 15 minutes, so this will be short ...

Thanks once again for the outpouring of support. We had the "wake" yesterday, and I got so see relatives, highschool classmates and numerous others who were there for my family. Really overwhelming how many well-wishers there was.

Today I get to give the eulogy ... I've got it sketched out in my mind, a few thoughts scribbled down. I want today to be a celebration of Mom's life, and the legacy she leaves behind. We weren't a perfect family, we struggle like everyone else, but I just hope today I can remind everyone of the laughter, joys and happiness my Mom was all about, and that today she no longer suffers, she no longer feels trapped in her own body, but she is FREE.

Thank you all for surrounding us in prayers, they have been comforting and very much felt.

Mom's online obiturary

I know, I know it's so morbid. Two things you can count on death and taxes ...
http://www.mem.com/ContentDisplay.aspx?ID=18882784&lang=en.

A better link to see the online obit is http://www.legacy.com/dignity-memorial/obituary.aspx?n=Theresa-Poulin&lc=1705&mid=4151715

I've truly been impressed with the outpouring of condolences. Want you all to know that we are really doing well. My Mom's disease had hindered her so badly, that we know she no longer suffers or feels trapped in her own body.

My immediate family is arriving tonight from southern NH. I'm sure that tomorrow will be tough, but at the same time we know that Mom's suffering has ceased. Here is a song that may capture how tough it may be for Dad to be separated from his better half. The song is "Far Side Bank of Jordan":

---

I believe my steps are growing wearier each day
Still I have a journey on my mind.
Hurts of this old world have ceased to make me want to stay
But my one regret is leaving you behind.

Now if it proves to be his will that I am first to go
Somehow I have a feeling it may be
When it comes your time to travel likewise don't you feel lost
For I will be the first one that you see.

(Chorus)
And I’ll be waiting on the far side bank of Jordan
I’ll be waiting drawing pictures in the sand
And when I see you coming I will rise up with a shout
And come running through the shallow waters reaching for your hand.

Now through this life we've labored hard to earn our meager share
It's brought us trembling hands and tear-dimmed eyes.
But I'll just wait here on the shore and turn my face away
Until you come and we'll see paradise

---

Here is Johnny Cash with his love June Carter ...

Mom has gone to be with the Lord.

Thank you all for your prayers. My sister Cecile and I both had uneventful flights in, no delays and drove up arriving at the hospital around 2:30 AM. Mom was unresponsive, but we were able to talk to her and love on her. My siblings all came in around 5AM after we called and said her respirations had changed. We all prayed with Mom and told her that she was free to go, that her work here was done. She slipped quietly round 8:30 AM this morning.

We are resting, getting ready to plan the funeral, which is scheduled for this coming Wednesday at 11AM. My head is fuzzy from all the emotions and lack of sleep, but I really did feel the prayers of the saints surrounding us. Thank you!

Not long before Mom went home to see Jesus, I shared with my family a song that my daughter Rebekkah had sung to Lucie's dad in the hospital when he was dying. Imagine Miss Bekkah, as a two or three year old singing in a sweet voice to her grandpa. We had gotten a cassette tape (yes I'm that old) and would play it, Bekkah had heard it, and for whatever reason as we were saying our goodbyes, started singing ... Soon and very soon, we are going to see the King ...

I did not sing this to my family, (you see, it sounds right in my head, but unfortunately my gift from God is not vocals, but I do have the gift of sarcasm!) but rather than singing, I recited the verses for my family ... No more crying there ... and no more dying there. It wasn't long after that Mom went home to see the King.

Flight plans moved up to ... Today

Thanks for all the prayers, I asked that Mom go quickly, and she's taken a turn for the worse. She's developed pneumonia and has a 103 fever. I may not make it north in time to see her alive, but she's currently unresponsive. Appreciate all the warm thoughts and prayers.

Please pray for traveling mercies for me and my sister Cecile, who is on a flight through Chicago arriving tonight in Manchester. Pray that there be no weather / mechanical delays and that all go smoothly.

Please pray for me as I fly through BWI tonight, I'll await my sister's arrival, then the two of us will drive up to Berlin.

Please pray for our families we are leaving behind in CA and NC, that they might not be too stressed, and would not have issues to deal with while we are away.

Finally, Mom's name is Theresa, Dad's name is Normand and my siblings are Claire, Paul, Leo, *me*, Cecile, Louise & Jeanne. That we be supportive of each others, our spouses, our children and that we hold up in this stressful time.

Thanks everyone.

Heading to NH

Wow, I'm such a slacker ... at least according to this blog ... it's been a long while since I posted anything, (Nov. 2009) and I'm waxing nostalgic as I prepare to head north to Berlin NH to say goodbye to Mom.

Mom's Lewy Body disease has progressed rapidly since I last saw her at Christmas time. She is not eating (4-5 sips of a smoothie daily) not drinking in addition to that. She spends most of her days sleeping and is not able to walk without assist. I look forward to holding her hand, telling her I love her and letting her know that we'll all be fine.

She's a fighter, having come back from her deathbed last May, she worked hard to get back home, but the difficulty swallowing, hallucinations and weight loss are back in full vengeance. Please pray that she go quickly and quietly. Please also pray for my Dad as he prepares to say goodbye to his beloved, who's stood by him through thick and thin and has been his greatest support and cheer leader. Dad spends much time weeping, feeling frustrated that he can't do more for Mom.

My sibs in NH are upping the home health care hours to 10 hours / day now. This way meals for Dad and personal care for Mom can be handled by those best able to help. I want to thank my relatives back in Berlin, the sister/brother-in-laws and my siblings for all they are doing.

My trip starts next Thursday, so I'll be able to spend Friday through Sunday with the folks and head back home on Monday. My sister Cecile from CA will be up the next week, and the week after that, Liz and her boyfriend Pat will stop in when she is on her spring break in NH. (I know, she didn't get the memo that you are supposed to head SOUTH for spring break ... )

I covet your prayers, we don't know how long Mom can hold on, but just pray for peace and strength for all. Nostalgia makes me think of how many times, it was Mom who spent "la nuite blanche" (literally "white night", but means pulling an all nighter) tending to us with cold compresses and hot mustard compacts. Mom was always strong and hard working, now her body is giving up on her. I'm sure she must be so frustrated, not being able to care for herself, let alone others.

I plan on reminding Mom that her work is done, and now she can rest and "go home". She's leaving a good legacy behind her, with 7 children, all married, none divorced. Dad reminded me that they had 59 great years, and that while year 60 has had its hardships, that they've still had each other.

Here is a song which, sappy as it may be, was made famous by Edith Piaf. Here it is in english. For those of you who don't want a sappy song, then don't click on this ... you've been warned ..



Actually, I prefer this in French, Mom's native tongue. Here is the original diva, Edith Piaf singing "Hymne a l'Amour".

Lyrics | Edith Piaf lyrics - Hymne A L'amour (Hymn To Love) lyrics